Giving Up to Grace

There’s nothing like being taken out of all that is familiar to realize how incapable you are...

 

But. But. But.

I’m adventurous Hanna! I’m the girl who was always the first one out the door and to raise my hand to volunteer for something new and uncertain.

I’m always the one looking for the next exciting thing. The new territory to be discovered and land to be pioneered.

But. But. But…

I can’t. 

Yesterday marked one week of being in Amsterdam.

One week and I’ve already discovered how incapable I am to do anything without God’s Grace.

Since new staff orientation starts tomorrow, my opportunities to minister this past week have been limited.

But even with just one night in the Red Light District and one evening working with the homeless in our Hidden Treasures ministry, I’ve discovered how incapable I am of effectively ministering.

I don’t know the language. I don’t understand their life situations.

I have no idea how to speak Dutch (although I’m trying to learn) or Spanish and have no idea what it’s like to move to a big city in hopes to provide for a suffering family back home.

I have no idea what it’s like to give my body to man after man to earn money to send to a sick mother back home.

I have no idea what it’s like to travel to a strange city with hopes of better financial provision for my family back in Romania, only to find myself again on the streets drenched in rain and disappointment.

And I have no idea how to do what I’ve been called here to do.

But there’s one thing that God is teaching me to do…

TO GO LOWER.

To humble myself. Because it’s in the place of “no idea” where God shows His power and glory through his people and lives are forever changed.

It’s in the place of loving submission I find myself being healed through grace and others are joining me along in that journey.

It’s in the place of “giving up” that God’s grace and gifts are poured out even more and my “can’ts” become His “cans” and it is in that place my heart is full and people are healed. 

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” -John 3:30 (ESV)

I know that verse is probably the #1 verse on humility, but can we take a moment and actually meditate on it?

Less of me, MORE of Him.

Not saying I have to become a vegetable in order to be used by the Spirit. God made Hanna, just like God make Ryan, Bethany, Anne, or whoever else may be reading this.

God made unique souls and His glory shines through our personalities in restored relationship.

In that passage, John the Baptist was reacting to his disciples who came to report people leaving his ministry to follow Jesus.

I love John’s reaction.

“My ministry must decrease so people can see the One who actually restores their hearts and heals their wounds.”

God. That is my cry.

As I enter a new ministry, a new phase of life.
As I daily walk the streets of a desperately lost city and talk to hurting hearts I want to shine Your glory.

Simply so others can experience Your everlasting love.

I lay down my “I can’ts” and even my “I cans,” because I know that You only say “I can,” and Yours are so much bigger and better than mine ever could be.

I lay down any expectation I hold over myself to be able to minister “correctly,” because I can’t relate these people. My life is nothing like theirs. But I can offer them love, because You have given me love.

Jesus, Your “cans” inspire me to go lower.

You inspire me to surrender daily, because I know I can’t do anything without You.

I love you.

-Hanna


The photos are simple Iphone shots of Iceland and Amsterdam I took this past week.

Just One Little Word....

TRUST.

noun
1. firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something.
verb
1. believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of.

That beautiful yet terrifying word up there is the word God gave me for 2016. It’s not a word to describe what my 2016 will be, it’s an action I need to do for the next 12 months and beyond--it's not the noun usage, it's the verb. I must actively trust Him.

TRUST.

Today, one week before getting on a plane and leaving all I know and love for a beautiful and dark Dutch city, the leader of my ministry Skyped me to inform me that my YWAM ministry has been dissolved.

No more YWAM Lighthouse. No more Red Light District specific ministry with YWAM Amsterdam.

TRUST.

She says I should pray and choose another ministry, or do the Evangelism Team if I want to still work with the ladies in the district.

She said, “Our particular ministry has stopped, but the work has not. We are still very active in the district with the Evangelism Team.”

Funny thing is, I didn’t freak out at all. 

I was overwhelmed with such an amazing peace.

Why? I originally applied for the Evangelism Team in the first place but settled on The Lighthouse out of fear.

When I started scoping out YWAM Amsterdam last year, I spoke with a couple of staff at the base, one was on the Evangelism Team. According to that staff member, my interests matched well with the Evangelism Team, but I would have to be willing to do other street ministry outside the Red Light District—ministry with the homeless and drug dealers. I would have to be willing to do active street Evangelism several times a week.

That sounded great, but honestly really exhausting. So I said “No” because I didn’t think God could sustain me through that type of ministry and decided to fall back on something familiar.

TRUST.

Now I find myself, one week from flying out, being placed into a ministry I was originally terrified of.

TRUST.

Yet somehow, I know God will sustain me.
Somehow, I know God will give me a genuine LOVE for the streets of Amsterdam and the people I meet there.
Somehow, I know that God will grow me immensely—grow me more than He could if I was at The Lighthouse.

I trust, despite my fears, that He will surround me with the right teammates and friends.
I trust, He will provide in every way—financially, spiritually, emotionally and physically.
I trust, He will grow my heart to love more—to love like Him, and to help me see Amsterdamians through His eyes.
I trust in Him, because I KNOW that he is reliable, true, able and strong.

I trust that trusting Him is the best thing I could ever do.

Join me and trust Him today?
Trust Him to provide your every need?
Trust Him to guide you, lead you, and place you right where you need to be.

And please, pray that I will continue to trust Him too.
Because He is a good Father who gives good gifts to His children.



TRUST.

Jesus, your reliability, truth, ability and strength inspires me to trust you.
Thank you.

Love,
Hanna


The pictures above are from my Boston trip way back in October. Finally got around to showing a couple of the few hundred I took that week ;)

Inspirational Profile: Elizabeth Rohr

I move away from Virginia in three days. 

THREE. DAYS.

Three days from now I'll be standing in the Richmond International Airport security line probably sobbing my eyes out as I wave goodbye to two of my dearest friends. 

Three days and I have to say goodbye to someone who has blessed me more than I think she could ever realize.

This someone is named Elizabeth Rohr. 

I, and many of our other friends, often call her "Rohr." Not only because there are about 123418237921 other Elizabeth's at Regent University but because it fits her personality completely. 


Her name is prophetic. 
Her name describes a huge part of her being. 

How so? She Roars. 

She's someone who would perfectly fit the shoes of a lawyer, yet instead she chose to give a voice to the voiceless in a more gentle and nurturing kind of way.


She has chosen the humble life of a teacher. 

A profession that helps the younger generation develop their own sweet voices to be heard in a bitter, cold world.

Her desire to enter a world where ministry is found in everyday living and every-moment examples inspires me. 

Her passion to vocalize whats right and to teach others to do the same encourages me to stand up for justice and equality. 

Her ferocious loyalty in her relationships encourages me to love larger and longer.

Dearest Rohr, dearest friend. I am so inspired by your steadfastness and strength. Thank you for being a wonderful friend to me these past two years. I look forward to the years to come, faithful friend. 

I love you to the moon and back.

Love, Han

P.S. 
Remember one of the first times we hung out and had a photo shoot in the snow with my new fancy camera? Yeah, thought those were worth pulling out again. You're welcome ;)

 

Forever and Always

First off, I want to apologize for my neglect of blogging lately.

Work, school, traveling and just life in general has been hectic. But! A plus is I have a plethora of pictures to share!

Yet despite all the craziness of life, the Lord has been speaking super loudly to me; He's been reminding me of the certainty and faithfulness of His love.

Now, I know that sounds super cliché and "white-girl Christian," like it should be a @socality caption or something. But the truth is when we get just a taste of the Lord's faithfulness, it's radical. It transforms us in ways unspeakable and breaks down every lie we've ever spoke over ourselves.

I'm going to be completely honest with you. I've been listening to those lies lately. You know, the "you're not good enough, no one's going to love you for your heart," type of lies. The ones that attack our heart identity and sense of belonging.

It hasn't come out of no where either. I've made some big mistakes, and I'm about to dive into full-time ministry into one of the darkest battlefields in the world (Amsterdam Red Light District).

For those reasons, it makes sense I'm being attacked more ferociously than I have been since I lived in Thailand three years ago. Something good is on the horizon, and someone is not happy about it.

Yet although the voices of those lies have been loud there is one Voice that remains louder still. 

It's a Voice that speaks love and truth over me.
A Voice that is always gentle, always kind and encourages me to keep moving onward and upward. 

A Voice that says, "I'm here Hanna, I'm Love (1 John 4:8) and I'm Good and Faithful (Psalm 100:5). I have a truth to counteract every lie that has been spoken over you and you've spoken over yourself. Through Me you are strong to fight those lies (Ephesians 6:10), I am always here, and my banner over you is love (Song of Solomon 2:4).

Forever and Always."

 Guys, you want to know what truly inspires me more than anything else? 

The Lord's Voice and His never-ending faithfulness.

The fact He uses His Voice to willingly to speak to us on a more personal level than we could ever imagine.

To be given promises from a Good Father who knows how to give genuinely good gifts to His children.  

That inspires me more than anything else imaginable. 

So Daddy, today I praise You and thank You for Your promise to adore me, guide me and Speak Life to me Forever and Always.

Your Voice and faithfulness inspire me.

"Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations."

~Psalm 100:4-5


Love, Hanna

The three last pictures are of my Mom, Dad and brother Andrew that I took during my visit back home to WA in September. All three of them inspire me immensely. 

The sunrise photos were taken at Sandbridge Beach in August and soon I will post photos from my recent trip to Boston and the Shenandoah River Valley. 

Also, I apologize for the formatting issues on mobile devices. The paragraphs go funny and I'm not sure why. If anyone knows how to fix that issue please let me know :) 

Home Is Where the Heart Is

I love that I serve a God who gives us dreams. 

He gives us the desires of our hearts when it's His heart.

To be wonderfully aligned with our Creator in both vision and purpose--it's beautiful.

This past year, I've really been dreaming.

Actually, since early high school I've been dreaming; dreaming about partnering with Christ in one of the world's darkest places--Amsterdam's Red Light District.

Amsterdam is gorgeous--yes. But at the heart of it is a neighborhood so twisted and dark it pollutes the rest of the city.

As the pinnacle example of the city's ethically tolerant perspective, the Red Light District is Amsterdam's pride and joy. 400+ windows of mainly foreign female prostitutes brings in hundreds of thousands of tourists annually followed by large profits that city officials love.

{To get a taste of how much the city promotes prostitution and the RLD, check out this link:
http://www.amsterdam.info/red-light-district/}

The RLD is a dark place, but that's exactly where light shines the brightest. Youth With A Mission (YWAM) has charged into this battlefield full swing bringing the love and light of Christ.

YWAM Amsterdam's Red Light District ministry, "The Lighthouse" gently yet powerfully fights the stronghold over the district through worship, prayer and building genuine relationships with the workers in the district.

And I am so excited to announce that I am becoming full-time staff with this ministry starting in February!

Doing Red Light District ministry and being in Europe has been a huge dream of mine for a long time.

I am thankful for my God who gives me dreams and provides avenues for me to pursue them. 

Amsterdam, you inspire me.

You speak life into my soul, my heart, and my dreams. 

But most of all...
God, you inspire me. 
Because without You I would have no dreams to chase and no purpose to pursue.  

Thank you Jesus, for inspiring me through my dreams. 


-Hanna


Prayers are appreciated as I prepare and go through the fundraising process. If you'd like to support me or know more about my future in Holland, please email hmbish@gmail.com. 

All pictures were taken during my one week visit to Amsterdam in June :)