Take Heart

So you know that passage in John 16 where Jesus talks about how He has overcome the world?

If you don't, here it is to refresh your memory:

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." (John 16:33, ESV). 

If you look at that verse in my handy-dandy and absolutely adored ESV Bible, you'll notice some words are highlighted and underlined by about 6 different pens. It's been one of those staple verses in my life; one of those comforting ones I go to when I'm anxious, restless and confused.

I'd instantly jump to words such as, "peace" and the phrase, "take heart; I have overcome..."

I'd think, "Yes! Yes! He has overcome! I can have courage! I can have peace!" But I didn't pay much attention to the phrase "in me" and that daunting word, "tribulation."

But these past couple of months have been hard...

I went from a high mountain to an incredibly deep valley. The valley contained wounds I didn't even know I had, and once I felt like they were healing I'd trip over something and the wound would burst open again even worse than it was before.

A couple weeks ago, I was on a walk and said (somewhat fearfully), "Okay, Lord. I'm here. What do you want to expose and say to me now? Just be careful, because I'm the most raw I've ever been and don't think I can handle any more exposed wounds."

And what did I hear?

"Hanna, I love you..." 

{One: Identity. I know God is speaking to me when He first states my identity. Usually saying "I love you", "beloved", or my favorite, "darling."}

"...I'm healing you." 

{Two: He states the Truth about the situation even when I don't see it yet. In that moment, I felt anything but healed; anything but okay. Yet He still said the truth--"I'm healing you."}

"...thank you for stripping yourself of everything, now let me give some things back to you." 

Thank you? ...Thank you?

Really, God?

You're thanking me for my wounds and inability to cope? You're thanking me for the nights I spent yelling at You in anger and confusion? You're thanking me for the times I chose other comforts over you? You're thanking me for listening to the lies and giving up on the battles and coming to the end of my rope?

"...thank you for stripping yourself."

He wasn't exactly thanking me for the process of stripping myself--although He's been there through the whole thing--He was thanking me for my vulnerability. 

Isn't that what Christ did?

When the ultimate battle came--when the world showed it's hate, what did he do?  
He stripped himself. 

Stripped himself of all honor, dignity and self-ownership. And was it painful?
OH, YES.
He was beaten, whipped and nailed to a cross. He died. He literally died.

And when the beatings came--the tribulation came--what did he bleed?
His own rights? His "right" to happiness, stability, joy and comfort?

Nope.
He bled forgiveness.
He bled acceptance.
He bled a deep trust in His Father.
He bled not just a belief that God is always good but a deep knowledge and understanding that God is good despite the pain.

But most of all, He bled LOVE. 

When the tribulations come, when the beatings come, when I'm stripped of all comforts and of things I think are good; I don't want to bleed anger, confusion and mistrust. I want to bleed adoption-identity, I want to bleed fruits of the Spirit...I want to bleed Love. 

I want to bleed Jesus. 

So. Is everything in my life okay now?
No.
I still have much healing ahead of me.
But do I have more peace than I did three weeks ago?
Absolutely.
Why? Because IN HIM we can have peace.
Because when tribulations come--He has overcome and taken the keys of death so we can always say "God is good" and we can bleed Jesus because He already bled over us 2000 years ago.

Jesus, You're vulnerability that led to victory inspires me and gives me courage to continue to be vulnerable to You so I can celebrate victory with You. 

Thank You for bleeding Your love over me so I can have peace and bleed love on others--even when it hurts and doesn't always make sense.

And thank You for carrying me and caring for me.
Thank You that You shower me with gifts; with family, friends, support--the chance to travel. You are a good, good Father who gives good gifts. You are the Restorer of joy and the Giver of freedom.

And I love You, oh Lover of my Soul. 

Love, 
Hanna


The above photographs are from my trip to Edinburgh, Scotland last week. God gave me the gift of being able to spend a few days with my VA church family on their mission trip...it was an incredible time, and as you can tell--Scotland is gorgeous.