Giving Up to Grace

There’s nothing like being taken out of all that is familiar to realize how incapable you are...

 

But. But. But.

I’m adventurous Hanna! I’m the girl who was always the first one out the door and to raise my hand to volunteer for something new and uncertain.

I’m always the one looking for the next exciting thing. The new territory to be discovered and land to be pioneered.

But. But. But…

I can’t. 

Yesterday marked one week of being in Amsterdam.

One week and I’ve already discovered how incapable I am to do anything without God’s Grace.

Since new staff orientation starts tomorrow, my opportunities to minister this past week have been limited.

But even with just one night in the Red Light District and one evening working with the homeless in our Hidden Treasures ministry, I’ve discovered how incapable I am of effectively ministering.

I don’t know the language. I don’t understand their life situations.

I have no idea how to speak Dutch (although I’m trying to learn) or Spanish and have no idea what it’s like to move to a big city in hopes to provide for a suffering family back home.

I have no idea what it’s like to give my body to man after man to earn money to send to a sick mother back home.

I have no idea what it’s like to travel to a strange city with hopes of better financial provision for my family back in Romania, only to find myself again on the streets drenched in rain and disappointment.

And I have no idea how to do what I’ve been called here to do.

But there’s one thing that God is teaching me to do…

TO GO LOWER.

To humble myself. Because it’s in the place of “no idea” where God shows His power and glory through his people and lives are forever changed.

It’s in the place of loving submission I find myself being healed through grace and others are joining me along in that journey.

It’s in the place of “giving up” that God’s grace and gifts are poured out even more and my “can’ts” become His “cans” and it is in that place my heart is full and people are healed. 

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” -John 3:30 (ESV)

I know that verse is probably the #1 verse on humility, but can we take a moment and actually meditate on it?

Less of me, MORE of Him.

Not saying I have to become a vegetable in order to be used by the Spirit. God made Hanna, just like God make Ryan, Bethany, Anne, or whoever else may be reading this.

God made unique souls and His glory shines through our personalities in restored relationship.

In that passage, John the Baptist was reacting to his disciples who came to report people leaving his ministry to follow Jesus.

I love John’s reaction.

“My ministry must decrease so people can see the One who actually restores their hearts and heals their wounds.”

God. That is my cry.

As I enter a new ministry, a new phase of life.
As I daily walk the streets of a desperately lost city and talk to hurting hearts I want to shine Your glory.

Simply so others can experience Your everlasting love.

I lay down my “I can’ts” and even my “I cans,” because I know that You only say “I can,” and Yours are so much bigger and better than mine ever could be.

I lay down any expectation I hold over myself to be able to minister “correctly,” because I can’t relate these people. My life is nothing like theirs. But I can offer them love, because You have given me love.

Jesus, Your “cans” inspire me to go lower.

You inspire me to surrender daily, because I know I can’t do anything without You.

I love you.

-Hanna


The photos are simple Iphone shots of Iceland and Amsterdam I took this past week.