it's for you, too.

"The Lord has restored my dignity so much...to the point where I remember my shame no more!"

I look at her from across the table; the lit candles reflect in her joy-filled eyes.
A warm grin spreads across her gentle, Dominican face as she continues,

"I don't belong to my past! AMEN!"

There's power that comes with a restored life and a freedom-filled testimony.

This beautiful woman has seen the darkest side of humanity--the use and abuse of her heart and body. Yet in the darkness of the Red Light, she found Light Himself and allowed His love to restore her life.

I sat there with watery eyes, struck by what an incredible privilege it is to sit at the same table as this woman.

I'm struck by what a miracle it is she's even sitting at this table.

I'm amazed and so thankful she's spending her evening at our bible study, sharing the Word and stories together instead of standing behind an illuminated window.

Jesus caught her heart five years ago and she hasn't stood behind a window since.
She said, "YES!" and actually meant it and let Holy Spirit turn her life upside-down in radical grace.

As I'm sitting there struck by the power of her testimony, a part of my heart stung under her words.
I thought to myself, "how much room have I actually allowed Holy Spirit to restore my dignity?"
And not only that, but how much do I truly believe He's actually restored my dignity? How much do I believe in the power of His radical grace? Do I really even believe His grace is sufficient for me? For all my mistakes, wrongs and self-inflicted pain? Dang it, why is it so much easier to say yes to shame, fear and doubt than to receive grace and forgiveness?!

We continued to laugh, read and cry together for the rest of the night. I penned down her lines of wisdom and let Holy Spirit use them to penetrate my soul.
As I went home that evening, I earnestly prayed,
"Jesus, just like her I WANT TO REMEMBER MY PAST NO MORE."

When I look back, I no longer want to see shame and pain. I want to see grace. I want to see HIS faithfulness and goodness and let it run all over my sin.

Now, please don't think I'm excusing the consequences of poor decisions. We live in a world of cause and effect and we have to deal with those consequences asking for God's grace and wisdom in how to best do so.

But when I look at things past--at things which have gone, I want to see victory in where I am now and see God's fingerprints all over the process of moving past those circumstances.

God's been highlighting the contradiction of shame and grace to me a lot lately; from Scripture, conversations, sermons, worship times, prayer times, other's praying over me...you name it. The Lord keeps speaking, "Hanna, the past is past. This is now, and this is a season of dancing."

This is a season of Grace. 

Like most Christianese words, such as faith and hope, I always found the word Grace as somewhat an abstract concept rather then a world-shifting reality.
So what does Grace really mean? In reference to God's Grace, it means "the free and unmerited favor of God."

FREE AND UNMERITED. 

Never earned. NEVER earned.
It erases shame and "rightful" punishment.
It makes right what was wrong.
It restores broken hearts, minds, bodies and relationships.
Grace is Power. Grace is Change. Grace is Reconciliation to the One who knit us together and to one another.

You know, my name actually means "Grace."

The word Grace is spoken over me day after day after day as people call my name, but it's funny how we become numb to Truth and no longer let it infiltrate our souls.

I've heard about Grace, at times I've actually experienced touches of God's Grace. But very little have I truly accepted God's Grace for myself.
I've tried my best to grant it over others, but rarely for myself.
And when I don't accept God's grace, I don't allow Him to restore my dignity.

But this is a time of self-Grace.
Of Grace pouring-out to come from a place of Grace pouring-in. 

When I hear my name, I desire to no longer hear, "weak, doubtful, fearful and shameful."
I desire to hear the true meaning of my name. To hear the reality of WHO I AM.

I desire to hear GRACE. 
And let the reality of Grace restore my dignity.
Just as He faithfully has, and continues to do, for my sweet Dominican friend.

And I am oh so thankful for His Grace as I continue in this process.
I'm thankful Grace doesn't call us to be perfect, rather simply calls us to receive and be restored.

Hallelujah. 




My Jesus, 

I am so thankful for your incredible Grace. 
I am so thankful Grace is never something to be earned, but always something to be received. 
Thank You that Your Grace IS sufficient and Your mercies are new every morning. 

Thank You that You earned Grace for me 2000 years ago. May I never forget the weight of Your Grace. May I let it fill my words, direct my actions, shape my relationships and restore my dignity. 

I love You. 

Love, Hanna

this painful strength

I don't run from pain. I don't self-medicate.
I deal with pain in a healthy, constructive way.
I don't do drugs, I don't sleep around, I don't struggle with over-eating or gambling.

I'm a faithful spouse, friend and family member. I contribute to society and am even generous with my time and resources. I'm good. Even when I'm in pain, I don't self-medicate to numb myself.

Well, my friend, we tell ourselves a lot of lies sometimes.
Every person self-medicates. Every person has an escape because pain is inevitable in this life. We all try to either numb or please ourselves at the expense of ourselves, loved ones or society as a whole. At times, we all have let ourselves be overwhelmed by unspeakable pain and let it steal our strength and hope.

God's been teaching me a lot about the nature of pain these past weeks...
Months. Years. Okay, actually he's been teaching me about pain my entire life but just gave me a particular perspective on it recently.

Pain is a MASSIVE topic. It's one of our worst fears while simultaneously one of our most constant companions. Humanity's instinct is to avoid pain at all costs. We'll throw ridiculous amounts of money towards treatments, medicines, and distractions. We'll throw around horrific words at one another in defense of our own heart. We'll even numb our hearts--go on complete lock-down--in order to avoid pain. 

But what if pain actually isn't a destructive thing...but actually grows us in strength and compassion?

It's likely I don't know you, but I already know you're thinking, "this woman is a total optimistic idiot who hasn't seen pain or known heartache and has no idea what she's talking about."

Well hold up one second and let me tell you:
I walk streets dripping in pain everyday.
I see men empty their wallets to numb themselves as women--my friends--exchange their dignity to pay their debts and get that fix.
I've seen cancer degrade loved ones to skin and bones, leaving them in ICUs; eventually taking their last breath.
I've seen abuse leave bruises and drugs take lives.
I've seen empty bank accounts, doctors shake their heads at me saying, "I don't know what's wrong with you" and I've known broken promises, relationships and unfulfilled dreams.

...but haven't we all?

That's my point. 
Suffering is a reality of being human. It's a freaking painful reality. And guess what, it's even part of the gospel. It's a major part of the gospel.

Pain is hard. Pain is horrible, because pain is not of the Lord. God doesn't cause pain--the devil and our poor decisions do.
Nonetheless, people in pain deserve our support, our sympathy, but also our encouragement to see the bigger picture of their pain--to see they're not the only ones who know pain, and that their pain is part of this paradoxically beautiful reality of being human. It's part of growing with people and knowing God in a broken world.

One of my all-time favourite authors, Henri Nouwen, perfectly depicts this exact paradox of beautiful pain in his book, The Inner Voice of Love. He claims coming into a full realisation of our pain, of actually OWNING our pain, is the first and a vital step to healing. Allowing ourselves to feel helps us see the bigger picture; to see we aren't the only people in pain, and it leads us into a life full of forgiveness and compassion. It leads us into a Jesus-like life.

Nouwen states,
"The deeper truth is that the situation which brought about your pain was simply the form in which you came in touch with the human condition of suffering...healing means moving from your pain to the pain....real healing comes from realising that your own particular pain is a share in humanity's pain. That realisation allows you to forgive your enemies and enter into a truly compassionate life. That is the way of Jesus."

Owning your pain, not avoiding it--THAT IS THE WAY OF JESUS. 

I don't know about you, but when I look at the cross I certainly see pain.
Yet when I look at the tomb I don't see pain.
When I look at the tomb I see victory.
I see healing.
I see strength.
I see life.
Nonetheless, we mustn't forget the cross came first.
That hard, cold, yet beautiful cross brought pain, death and loss.
Yet the tomb couldn't be without the cross.

If you're in pain right now, I know this is the last reality you want to think about. I've been there. When you're sharing your pain and someone responds with, "God is good, it'll be alright." You just want to smash that person in the nose and yell, "OH YEAH?! Do you think God's good now?!" You simply want out. The limbic system in your brain is screaming, "OUCH. This hurts! This is uncomfortable! Run! Do whatever it takes to fix this and GET OUT."
Even if that means not feeling.
Even if that means shutting down in depression and closing yourself off to community, relationship and love.
But dear heart, it's exactly in those places you'll find healing.
It's exactly in those relationships, conversations and interactions where you'll discover others hurt, too. That people are on your side--that God is always on your side.

"In the world you will be have tribulation. But take heart, I have overcome the world." 

-John 16:33 (ESV)-

It's in that painful place where you'll find strength. 
God tends to do this crazy redemption thing (it's a habit of his, I suppose) where he actually turns our pain into our strength.
That happened with Jesus.
The cross, the very thing that brought him down, is now his (and our) authority and strength to stand again.

Living a Jesus-like life means getting off that cross. 
Living a Jesus-like life means being buried. 
Living a Jesus-like life means we ALWAYS rise again. 

Living a Jesus-like life always means healing.
It means relationship. It means communion with God and others. It means love. It means compassion and grace. It means feeling.
Have grace for yourself, you don't get to this place overnight--but it's important to always remind yourself that YOU WILL get there.
I'll boldly state that believing you won't get there is not fully believing the gospel and its power.
Because the gospel isn't just pain--it's pain leading to victory and life.

When I look at the gospel, I see the cross and pain; but that's not the end.
The end of the gospel is that there is no end; it's an endless ending. The ending is the Love of the Father, the Friendship of Jesus and the Guidance of Holy Spirit for eternity. It's strength; it's LIFE.

And that is your inheritance. 




My sweet, kind Jesus, 

Thank you, because of your death I never have to die; because you live, I do too.
Thank you, because of your temporary separation from the Father I never have to know separation from you. 
Thank you, because even when all I see is pain--when I'm drowning in emotion and hurt--there's community and communion to realign my perspective. Thank you that love heals, and living loved and living to love is my true and only vocation. 

It's my deepest desire to live and love like you. 

I love you.

Love, 
Hanna



The pictures above are from my travels last month to India and Thailand.
It was incredible and life-changing. Dreams were fulfilled; I saw healing, breathtaking nature and knew sweet communion with other believers and experienced the kindest joy from adorable children. Jesus just loved on me from all directions...it was the biggest gift.

these wonderful words

Dear friend,

Who are you?
What do people say about you? What do you say about yourself? What burdens your heart and what brings you joy? 

Who am I? 
Well, let me tell ya! 

• I am Confident
• I am Strong
• I am Beautiful
• I am Loved
• I am Enough
• I love raw and large
• I crave authenticity
• I bring people together
• I hate conflict and crave resolution
• I love to empower others
• I am Inclusive
• I am an Encourager
• I am Loyal
• I am Fun
• I am a Leader
• I am Needed
• I am Wanted
• My words hold power and authority
• I am an Explorer
• I am a Musician/Painter/Cook/Writer
• I am Jesus' Best friend, his Bride, my Father's Daughter, and a Home for Holy Spirit. 

Who have I thought I was? 

(Crap. This means raw vulnerability. Okay. Let's do this....)

• unlovable
• too much/needy
• awkward
• too big
• timid
• weak
• fearful
• a bad leader
• a disappointment
• a failure
• a bad friend
• unwanted
• not needed
• burdensome
• forgotten
• not enough
• not talented

Writing that first list was like applying a balm over my raw heart. Those healing Truths seeped into the depths of my need for love...for Love Himself. 

Writing that second list was like scratching off the scab of a seeping wound. Memories, conversations, sleepless nights and dark days replay in my mind as those minuscule but toxic words stare right back at me from my computer screen. 

It's obvious, WORDS ARE POWERFUL. 

I've been learning that more and more lately. 

With the words, "it is finished," Jesus gave us freedom and belovedness.

With words the Trinity created all things. 

They created that fly on your window, that bird and that tree; with words, They also created you and me (ha, that rhymed). 

But in all seriousness, words are influential and are capable of holding life and death. 

When God gave me the title for this blog, "Speak Life," I didn't realize then how that little phrase would continue to reverberate in my life. 

During that time, God was showing me how things I say about people--whether in their presence or not (that's right, I have gossiped. Sorry.)-- actually changes who they are. He gave me a choice; I could speak life and see people walk in freedom in their true identity, or I could speak death and watch them crumble beneath my pride and desire to rise above them. 

To say the least it was confronting, and ever since I have sought (and many times failed, but hey, I'm trying) to relentlessly encourage those placed around me and to really love those who aren't always the easiest to love.

It's not always easy, but it's been liberating in many ways and I have discovered a sweet fragrance of encouragement and love in my life that I have never known before. 

However, in that time I didn't realize how much power I had given negative words in my own mind. 

In these last couple of years, Jesus has been revealing to me words (the lies listed above, to name a few) I have been speaking over myself causing me to crumble in shame and defeat. I was faced with the question, "what TRUTH did I need to speak over myself to build myself up in confidence and identity in Jesus?" 

What conversations and comments by people did I need to say NO to and choose forgiveness over bitterness?

What lies had I believed that needed to be covered time and time again in the Truth God has spoken over and into me as His Beloved? 

Dear friend, do you relate to any of the words in those lists above? Have you ever heard the little lies of list #2 and let them beat you to the ground? 

WORDS ARE POWERFUL. 

And that statement is a two-sided coin.  

Words hold the power to beat you down but they also hold the power to build you up. 

They hold the power to bind every broken place and to make your scars beautiful and make them marks of victory, not defeat...kind of like the eternal scars of our Savior.

You know what's also great? It's one of my favorite things about Jesus...

THE WORDS HE GIVES YOU ABOUT YOURSELF ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN ANY LIE. 

"So shall my Word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.
For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle;
and it shall make a name for the Lord, an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off."
-Isaiah 55:11-13, ESV (italics added)-

His Words stand.

No conversation, no broken relationship, no crushed dream, no lie you've heard or spoken over yourself for years changes the steadfastness of His Words of the TRUTH OF WHO HE SAYS YOU ARE.

And it's in the confidence of actually knowing (not just acknowledging) God's Truth and Words over you that you can experience freedom, victory and even genuine joy in the process.

I don't know about you, but hills and mountains bursting into song and clapping trees sounds pretty joyful to me. It kind of sounds like the Words of the Lord not only stand forever but bring tangible joy and peace; in addition they bring everlasting glory to God!

Do you understand that, Loved One?

The joy and freedom from your victory actually BRINGS GLORY TO GOD. 

God deeply delights in you and your joy. 

And that's the Truth, my friend. 

That suffering relationship, sick loved one, empty bank account or sleeping dream are hard--yes so hard--but the TRUTH OF WHO HE IS AND WHO YOU ARE STANDS FOREVER, all those other things will fade away. 

And it's because of that Truth we have eternal victory and have joy! 

So I challenge you. Make some lists. 

First make a list of lies. Don't capitalize them. In English, we capitalize important words or names. Those lies aren't you. Don't give them power they don't deserve. 

Then make a second list, make a Truth list. Capitalize those words because they are important and they are your real names.

Then burn the lies list. Burn that baby to the ground. Put it in it's rightful place. 

But keep the Truths list and put it somewhere visible and/or important, and repeat it to yourself over and over and over again. It takes time to renew your mind and to replace lies you've been speaking over yourself for years with the Truth of who God says you are. I'm still learning, and will continue to for the rest of my life. 

It's a journey, and it's not for the faint of heart. 

So it's a good thing that God hasn't given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of POWER, LOVE and a SOUND MIND (2 Timothy 1:7). 

So, do you really know who you are? 

You are Strong. 

You are Made in His image. 

You are Beloved. 

You are Wanted and Needed. 

You are Confident. 

You are Beautiful. 

You are HIS. 

WORDS ARE POWERFUL. 

So NEVER forget His words for you; never forget who you are. 

My Sweet Jesus, 

Your gentle whispers of Truth over me inspire me to bravely proclaim Your Truth over others. 
Thank You for constantly holding my hand and for loving me even when I fight against You and want to give up. You strengthen me in weak places and give me real reasons to rejoice in this life. 

I love You. 

Love, 

Hanna 

These battles are real. They've been ones I've fought a lot in my time in Amsterdam and I'm still struggling. This post is not a finish line for me, but just another mile marker in the journey towards becoming more like my Jesus. Please, contact me if you need encouragement or reference to some helpful material to fight these things...I'd love to offer the little I can. 

Bright as the Noonday

"Hanna. Help them."

That's it.
That's all God told me when he called me into sex industry ministry at age fifteen.

I was on a short-term mission trip to Guadalajara, Mexico with my youth group at the time (Dan, if you're reading this, a major shout-out to you for being an amazing Youth Pastor and spiritual mentor and for opening my eyes to the reality of the world of missions).
Although short, the trip had been real and intense. From going to the slums of Guadalajara to the wealthy streets--we saw the need for God everywhere. My heart was enlivened for missions, and I had been baptized in Holy Spirit on that trip. I knew after those two weeks my life was never going to be the same.

And I was right.

On the last night, our whole team spent a significant time praying over one another.
Four of us students were called to the mission field that same night.
And within two years, all of us had gone out in obedience.
One friend back to Mexico, two to Eastern Africa, and myself to Southeast Asia.

In the moment I was called, with tears streaming down my face, the Lord gave me a vivid, yet gruesome vision.

And I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna sugar-coat it...
The Lord showed me two Southeast Asian women being violently raped and He simply said, "help them."

Since then, down in the depths of my spirit, I can't seem to shake away this passion for seeing justice come to women working in the sex industry.

I went to Thailand, and my heart for that region of the world grew. I know I'm going back (hopefully this summer/fall for a visit!) for either long or short-term.
But above all else, whether that's in Europe, stateside, Asia--or heck, even South America--I have an unwavering passion for seeing women set free from sex-trafficking and independent prostitution and to help them discover their true identity and priceless worth. 

This passion for justice has been reawakened during my time here in Amsterdam.

I left Thailand at age eighteen discouraged about God telling me to go to university and not to stay in Asia, so subconsciously I put my passion for women on the backburner until after school when it was "missions time" again.

My first mistake was thinking university wasn't also a missions field. Nonetheless, through being a ministry leader on campus and leading most campus community outreaches, the Lord kept my flame for active outreach alive.

My second mistake was putting my passion for sex industry ministry on the backburner. Because it's been a journey to reignite it here in Europe.

However, the Lord has been faithful to reignite this passion, and since Christmas, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that working with women and seeking God's heart for justice in the sex industry is something I want to do for the rest of my life. 

Funny thing too, because a part of the scripture prophesied over me for my time in Amsterdam goes like this:

"Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth 

your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday." 

Psalm 37:5-6 (ESV, italics added)

And oh, how I've seen this happen! 

Jesus has begun to break my heart for what breaks his. 

Tears come to my eyes as I think of the degrading violation my friends in the Red Light have to endure day in and day out. 

Tears come to my eyes as I think of certain conversations I've had with them; conversations about their personal value and their response being stumbling words and looking down at the ground in shame. 

I desire to see these women's righteousness shine as the light. And for justice to be bright in their lives--bright as the noonday. 

I desire, and Jesus does too, that they no longer immediately relate the words "light" with "red" and noonday as their time for sleep. 

He wants to redeem those words in their lives and to shine His glorious light in their hearts.

And it's such a privilege to take part in Christ's redeeming process here in Amsterdam. 

Jesus, my sweet, sweet Jesus. Your incredible heart for justice and righteousness inspires me daily. Thank you for fighting the ultimate fight with death 2000 years ago so we can embrace real life no matter how close to death we come. 

Thank you that nothing is too damaged for you to redeem. Thank you that nothing is too dark for you to not make bright again. 

Thank you for your light, kind yet majestic nature. 

I am so in love with you and so inspired by you. 

So every day I will continually choose to respond to your command;

Yes, Lord, I will help them. 

Love,

Hanna

Starting this week I will be participating in a six-week seminar on my base called the Shine Seminar. It's about global sex-trafficking and the Christian response. It has a full schedule, and will be intense content--so please pray for me, my classmates and school staff. I'm really excited for it because I know it will be so relevant to the ministry I'm doing in the Red Light District. 

Also, above I mentioned visiting Asia this summer. I'm going on a ministry trip to India in August and hopefully visiting/scouting out other parts of SE Asia while I'm there. If you'd like to help fund my trip (because as a YWAM missionary my everyday finances come from private gifts from individuals) please see my YouCaring page: 

https://www.youcaring.com/hannabishop-760674

THANK YOU! 

The photographs are captures I took in March during my trips to England and Paris.
I went to England for a womens conference with my Amsterdam home church, and then to Paris for a girls weekend with some friends.
I'm so blessed to have opportunities to travel here!

Backwards and Forwards

One year.


ONE YEAR.

How has it already been one year?

I look back in total amazement of how fast time flies...

I've lived in Holland for a whole year, and my commitment with YWAM Amsterdam is already halfway through...

I can't help but be filled with gratitude when I look back and excitement as I look forward.
This past year has been one of intense growth, inner-healing and development.
It's been entirely what I never expected.
It's been incredibly difficult yet absolutely necessary.
Jesus has led me through valleys I didn't even know existed and awoken dreams I had totally forgotten about.

I look back on this past year of ministry and I see lessons I've learned. 
I see how intercession and worship play an essential role in missional living and evangelistic outreach.

I see how God has opened doors for me to invest and utilize my gifts in music, art and hospitality. Opportunities have opened for me to worship, prophetically paint and welcome others into my city and into my life.

I see how Jesus has gifted my adventurous heart with travel and discovering new places and people regularly.

I see how God has taken my raw, wounded heart and has radically revived it and is now breathing inspiration, calling and life back into it.

I see how God has graciously opened hearts of the women I minister to in this city; how despite feeling so inadequate at times Christ has shone through me, inviting those lovely hearts to open in vulnerability and friendship. 

I look back and I see a present and active Holy Spirit, a gracious and loving Jesus and a faithful, faithful Abba Father.

Last February, Holland-bound and standing in the security line at Sea-Tac airport, I found myself starting up a conversation with another woman my age.
She was a spirit-filled Christian, and as I told her I was moving to be a missionary her eyes lit up and she said, "I knew it!"
She continued to share with me that before we started conversing, Holy Spirit told her to prophecy Psalm 37 over me--particularly the following passage:

"Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. 

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. 

He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday." (Psalm 37:3-6, ESV)

She encouraged me and said, "I feel like this next season in your life is going to be a one of the Lord fulfilling the desires of your heart as you trust in Him, do good and befriend faithfulness."

With tears in my eyes, we prayed at our boarding terminals and parted ways. I flew over the Atlantic with an encouraged heart.

In my first two weeks in Amsterdam, I heard that exact passage quoted multiple times.
I was shocked. 

And I was ready. I grabbed my bootstraps and said, "Alright Lord, undergrad was great but a hard time of training. Now I'm ready to work in this district, to delight in you and see these ministry desires finally fulfilled!"

But oh, I still had such a vital lesson to learn. 

I definitely wasn't expecting God to remind me that before I could chase after my dreams, I had to first chase after him. Even if it means digging into my past and embracing a deep healing process.

I did not expect that bump in the road, but despite the tear-filled nights and moments of feeling like I couldn't continue--I'm so thankful it all happened.
I'm grateful for every washing tear, every hard conversation and every bound-up wound.

I'm thankful because now I feel more whole than I ever have before.

I feel more equipped to walk with others in their inner-healing processes because now I've been there, too. 

And as I reflect on this past year, I see how it was essential for this upcoming one. 

Exciting things are on the horizon in these next few months!

In April, I'm doing a six-week seminar on my base called Shine. It focuses on the global sex-trade and the Christian response. I'll be immersed in the wisdom of international speakers while still doing weekly outreaches with the ladies in the Red Light District.
I've had a passion for sex-trade abolition since I was fifteen, and I haven't been engaged in it since high school. Although trafficking happens in Amsterdam, abolition is not my team's particular focus. We commit to sharing the gospel with all sex workers, whether they are trafficked or independent prostitutes (majority are independent in Amsterdam).

I've always been passionate about justice, and to be further equipped in sex-trafficking awareness excites me.

In this last year, Holy Spirit has also been putting Southeast Asia heavily back on my heart.

When I was first called to missions as a teen, God called me distinctively to Southeast Asia; hence why I moved to Thailand in 2012 to do my DTS.
It was on my DTS that God told me Western Europe was my next international frontier, but my heart has longed to return to Asia ever since I left--even just for a short trip.

Over Christmas, God confirmed that longing by providing an opportunity to go to Northeast India.
In Aizawl, a beautiful city nestled between Bangladesh and Burma in the foothills of the Himalayas, there is a Christian HIV children's home called Gan Sabra.
This home nurtures over thirty beautiful HIV orphans, providing them with a basic needs, proper medical care, education and the love of Jesus.
My aunt told me on Christmas that she is returning to Gan Sabra (she has been dozens of times, and considers it her second home) with an outreach team of about fifteen other women. She opened up the opportunity for me to join, and as she further explained about the home and the VBS ministry she'll be doing with the kids, I heard Holy Spirit say, "go."

Hence, I am SO excited to announce that I am stepping out in faith and going to Aizawl this August! 

My heart BURSTS with joy as I think about loving on these kids and partnering with Jesus again in Southeast Asia. To do this type of ministry in India truly is a desire of my heart and I can't wait to see God move through our team and in our hearts (links below for more info about Gan Sabra and financial support).

Pictures from living in Thailand--I miss it so!

It's crazy how God sees our desires and in loving kindness he fulfills them in proper time.
If God had provided these opportunities last year, I don't think I would have had the emotional capacity to really give my all. In fact, I think they would have drained me--not given me life!

...And to think, it's only February!
It's only February and I already have two great opportunities put in front of me to love, learn and serve this year in the capacity in which I feel called.
And I am already in such an incredible ministry! My relationships continue to grow with the women in this district and my team has begun doing language lessons and soon will also do Bible studies with some of the ladies. God is moving in this neighborhood and it is such a PRIVILEGE to be a part of it!

All this to say, I look backward and I look forward and I am thankful. 
For the pain the was and is to come, I am thankful.
For the healing that was and is to come, I am thankful.
For the JOY and LOVE that was and is to come, I am thankful.
And for Jesus, my sweet Jesus, who was and is and is yet to come...I am so eternally thankful. 

So here's to another year of learning, healing, growing, loving, relating, serving, giving, receiving, and simply being with those around me--and to passionately pursing the Lover of my soul. 

Doing ministry in the RLD--offering coffee and conversation to the ladies behind the windows.

Jesus, thank you for never giving up on me. 

Thank you for being so incredibly faithful. Thank you for placing Holy Spirit desires in my heart as a young teen. Desires that you are still preparing me for and growing me in. Desires that give life to my soul and joy to your heart.
Thank you for being my first delight and desire. Thank you that I can trust you as I learn to do good and befriend faithfulness.
Thank you that you do fulfill desires. I'm so thankful you actually find joy in fulfilling the desires you have placed on my heart.

Your faithfulness and steadfast love inspire me to pursue you and delight in you as you fulfill the desires of my heart. 


I love you.

Love,
Hanna

For more information about the Gan Sabra home and Orphan Outreach, please visit:
http://orphanoutreach.co/countries-we-serve/india/aizawl.asp

To financially support my trip to India, please visit my YouCaring page: 
https://www.youcaring.com/hannabishop-760674