Backwards and Forwards

One year.


ONE YEAR.

How has it already been one year?

I look back in total amazement of how fast time flies...

I've lived in Holland for a whole year, and my commitment with YWAM Amsterdam is already halfway through...

I can't help but be filled with gratitude when I look back and excitement as I look forward.
This past year has been one of intense growth, inner-healing and development.
It's been entirely what I never expected.
It's been incredibly difficult yet absolutely necessary.
Jesus has led me through valleys I didn't even know existed and awoken dreams I had totally forgotten about.

I look back on this past year of ministry and I see lessons I've learned. 
I see how intercession and worship play an essential role in missional living and evangelistic outreach.

I see how God has opened doors for me to invest and utilize my gifts in music, art and hospitality. Opportunities have opened for me to worship, prophetically paint and welcome others into my city and into my life.

I see how Jesus has gifted my adventurous heart with travel and discovering new places and people regularly.

I see how God has taken my raw, wounded heart and has radically revived it and is now breathing inspiration, calling and life back into it.

I see how God has graciously opened hearts of the women I minister to in this city; how despite feeling so inadequate at times Christ has shone through me, inviting those lovely hearts to open in vulnerability and friendship. 

I look back and I see a present and active Holy Spirit, a gracious and loving Jesus and a faithful, faithful Abba Father.

Last February, Holland-bound and standing in the security line at Sea-Tac airport, I found myself starting up a conversation with another woman my age.
She was a spirit-filled Christian, and as I told her I was moving to be a missionary her eyes lit up and she said, "I knew it!"
She continued to share with me that before we started conversing, Holy Spirit told her to prophecy Psalm 37 over me--particularly the following passage:

"Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. 

Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 

Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him, and he will act. 

He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday." (Psalm 37:3-6, ESV)

She encouraged me and said, "I feel like this next season in your life is going to be a one of the Lord fulfilling the desires of your heart as you trust in Him, do good and befriend faithfulness."

With tears in my eyes, we prayed at our boarding terminals and parted ways. I flew over the Atlantic with an encouraged heart.

In my first two weeks in Amsterdam, I heard that exact passage quoted multiple times.
I was shocked. 

And I was ready. I grabbed my bootstraps and said, "Alright Lord, undergrad was great but a hard time of training. Now I'm ready to work in this district, to delight in you and see these ministry desires finally fulfilled!"

But oh, I still had such a vital lesson to learn. 

I definitely wasn't expecting God to remind me that before I could chase after my dreams, I had to first chase after him. Even if it means digging into my past and embracing a deep healing process.

I did not expect that bump in the road, but despite the tear-filled nights and moments of feeling like I couldn't continue--I'm so thankful it all happened.
I'm grateful for every washing tear, every hard conversation and every bound-up wound.

I'm thankful because now I feel more whole than I ever have before.

I feel more equipped to walk with others in their inner-healing processes because now I've been there, too. 

And as I reflect on this past year, I see how it was essential for this upcoming one. 

Exciting things are on the horizon in these next few months!

In April, I'm doing a six-week seminar on my base called Shine. It focuses on the global sex-trade and the Christian response. I'll be immersed in the wisdom of international speakers while still doing weekly outreaches with the ladies in the Red Light District.
I've had a passion for sex-trade abolition since I was fifteen, and I haven't been engaged in it since high school. Although trafficking happens in Amsterdam, abolition is not my team's particular focus. We commit to sharing the gospel with all sex workers, whether they are trafficked or independent prostitutes (majority are independent in Amsterdam).

I've always been passionate about justice, and to be further equipped in sex-trafficking awareness excites me.

In this last year, Holy Spirit has also been putting Southeast Asia heavily back on my heart.

When I was first called to missions as a teen, God called me distinctively to Southeast Asia; hence why I moved to Thailand in 2012 to do my DTS.
It was on my DTS that God told me Western Europe was my next international frontier, but my heart has longed to return to Asia ever since I left--even just for a short trip.

Over Christmas, God confirmed that longing by providing an opportunity to go to Northeast India.
In Aizawl, a beautiful city nestled between Bangladesh and Burma in the foothills of the Himalayas, there is a Christian HIV children's home called Gan Sabra.
This home nurtures over thirty beautiful HIV orphans, providing them with a basic needs, proper medical care, education and the love of Jesus.
My aunt told me on Christmas that she is returning to Gan Sabra (she has been dozens of times, and considers it her second home) with an outreach team of about fifteen other women. She opened up the opportunity for me to join, and as she further explained about the home and the VBS ministry she'll be doing with the kids, I heard Holy Spirit say, "go."

Hence, I am SO excited to announce that I am stepping out in faith and going to Aizawl this August! 

My heart BURSTS with joy as I think about loving on these kids and partnering with Jesus again in Southeast Asia. To do this type of ministry in India truly is a desire of my heart and I can't wait to see God move through our team and in our hearts (links below for more info about Gan Sabra and financial support).

Pictures from living in Thailand--I miss it so!

It's crazy how God sees our desires and in loving kindness he fulfills them in proper time.
If God had provided these opportunities last year, I don't think I would have had the emotional capacity to really give my all. In fact, I think they would have drained me--not given me life!

...And to think, it's only February!
It's only February and I already have two great opportunities put in front of me to love, learn and serve this year in the capacity in which I feel called.
And I am already in such an incredible ministry! My relationships continue to grow with the women in this district and my team has begun doing language lessons and soon will also do Bible studies with some of the ladies. God is moving in this neighborhood and it is such a PRIVILEGE to be a part of it!

All this to say, I look backward and I look forward and I am thankful. 
For the pain the was and is to come, I am thankful.
For the healing that was and is to come, I am thankful.
For the JOY and LOVE that was and is to come, I am thankful.
And for Jesus, my sweet Jesus, who was and is and is yet to come...I am so eternally thankful. 

So here's to another year of learning, healing, growing, loving, relating, serving, giving, receiving, and simply being with those around me--and to passionately pursing the Lover of my soul. 

Doing ministry in the RLD--offering coffee and conversation to the ladies behind the windows.

Jesus, thank you for never giving up on me. 

Thank you for being so incredibly faithful. Thank you for placing Holy Spirit desires in my heart as a young teen. Desires that you are still preparing me for and growing me in. Desires that give life to my soul and joy to your heart.
Thank you for being my first delight and desire. Thank you that I can trust you as I learn to do good and befriend faithfulness.
Thank you that you do fulfill desires. I'm so thankful you actually find joy in fulfilling the desires you have placed on my heart.

Your faithfulness and steadfast love inspire me to pursue you and delight in you as you fulfill the desires of my heart. 


I love you.

Love,
Hanna

For more information about the Gan Sabra home and Orphan Outreach, please visit:
http://orphanoutreach.co/countries-we-serve/india/aizawl.asp

To financially support my trip to India, please visit my YouCaring page: 
https://www.youcaring.com/hannabishop-760674