The Art of Living with No Expectations

Expectation. 

What an intricate, arduous word.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary (because I'm a nerd who likes to look up words) defines the noun "Expectation" as:

1. A belief that something will happen or is likely to happen. 
2. A feeling or belief about how successful, good, etc., someone or something will be. 

Alongside the official definition, I think we all have different personal definitions for the word as well.

For me, in the past this word has been defined with the description of "disappointment and failure."

I was disappointed in the failures of myself and others. I began to no longer expect because so many times when I had I was left disappointed and licking the wounds I either inflicted on myself or was caused by others' lack of care.

However, for a long time I did hold unfair expectations over other people. I was becoming emotionally dependent on them for love and emotional satisfaction. It was around age 18 that the Lord came to with a revelation that radically changed my life:

He said,
        "Hanna, true love has no expectations. When I died on that cross, I did not expect you to pay back that deed because I already knew you couldn't. Love only hopes. It always hopes (1 Cor. 13). Stop placing unfair expectations on yourself and others and choose hope instead."

Expectations on people often leaves us hurt. Expectations on situations often leaves us confused. Expectations on events often leaves us unsatisfied.

I briefly shared a couple posts back that the Lord told me to come to Amsterdam with no expectations.

That has been one of the most liberating experiences of my life. 

It is in that place of open hands, staring into the burning eyes of my Savior I am able to receive the gifts of people and ministry he has in store for me.

You can't receive gifts with the closed fists of control, expectation and distrust. 

To truly experience the full joy of receiving a gift there must be an element of surprise and unexpectancy. Think of a time when you were expecting a certain gift but instead were given another. Even if it was a good gift, the expectancy of the other dulled the joy of receiving what was actually given to you. 

The same applies in expecting the way things will go in the future. In order to receive the fullness of joy in this life there needs to be a decrease of expectation in our lives and replace it with an increase of hope and thankfulness.

For no where in Scripture does God ask us to expect, but He does ask us to hope. 

Proverbs 10:28:
"The hope of the righteous brings joy, but the expectation of the wicked will perish." 

Psalms 71:14: 
"But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more."

Romans 12:12: 
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."  

Romans 15:13: 
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."

Hebrews 6:19-20:
"We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek." (ESV)

Now that sounds all nice and simple. Like, "Oh! Great! I just need to no longer expect and trust God in hope knowing he will give me good gifts." ...but it's not that easy, is it?

Laying down expectations means laying down your own ideas of how things should be and radically trusting the Lord. Even when we face situations like disease, divorce and death.

Now I don't know about you, but for me--a Type-A, always like to have a "5-year plan" kind of person--laying down expectations feels like scrapping off my own flesh in total vulnerability before the throne of Jesus and coming to a place of complete dependency on him.

But it's in that place I've found the most joy.
It's in that place I've experienced the most peace.
It's in that place I've experienced the most gentleness, love and contentment.

It's in the place of the unknown I've felt the most known.

So will you join me in learning what it means to lay down expectations and replace them with hope in God?
Will you join me, dear brother and sister, in choosing to let go of disappointment and replace it with thankfulness? 
Will you join me in choosing freedom and joy to receive gifts instead of bitterness? 

Jesus, thank you for loving me with no expectations. Thank you for giving me joy instead of bitterness, and thank you that there are always gifts to be thankful for. I am inspired by you to let go, trust and keep my hands open to receive the gifts you have for me. 

I love you. 
 



Love, Hanna


 

 

Capture Life: Monumental Mountains

These past two months in Europe, I've been so encouraged in how many outlets there are for me to create and capture. 

Music. Photography. Painting. Writing. Even coffee.

My heart is coming alive as I'm surrounded by beautiful places and people.

Last month I had a privilege to visit Switzerland and France with my friend Allison for a long weekend.

There are few times my camera has been used so consistently.

Switzerland was especially breathtaking. 

The Alps. The Alps. The Alps. 

The Swiss Alps were the first thing to see on my travel checklist and they were INDESCRIBABLE.

That's Friedrich, our trusty little 90's Subaru that transported us everywhere!

...says the girl who grew up in the North Cascades.

I wish these humble captures could do these monumental mountains justice.

Switzerland was incredible. Even spiritually it is such a place of rest. Neutrality and peace leak throughout all aspects of the country.

From the quaint streets to the deep valleys and mighty peaks, Switzerland boldly reflects the Glory of its Creator. 

My heart burst with inspiration as I fell in love with this continent even more.

Although, the whole time I was homesick for Amsterdam. For no peaks or lakes can compare to the love I have for my city.


Jesus, thank you for creating Europe. 

Thank you for this amazing place full of so many incredible people who have embraced me so dearly. 

Thank you for homes away from home. And thank you for creating such beautiful and breathtaking places that point directly back to you. 

I love you and being inspired by Your creative work. 

Love, Hanna   

Living Called

It's hard to believe I've already been in the Netherlands for an entire month.

One of the most common questions I've been asked this past month besides "where do you come from" is, "what brought you to Amsterdam?"

That's a loaded question.

What did bring me to Amsterdam?

My common, quick response is that, "God called me here."

I'm here now. So I was called, and I came. Now what?

I know from past transition periods (I've had about three big moves in the last three years alone), that it's important to not look at the upcoming chapter of life as a destination. When we look at what's next as some sort of "ultimate goal" or even "promised land," we tend to subconsciously (or even consciously) put huge expectations on it hoping it will bring fulfillment.

The Lord warned me not to do that with Amsterdam. Because I did that with both Thailand and college and had really rough transitions full of disappointment and confusion.

So my question for God these past few weeks is, "God if you did actually call me to Amsterdam, and I'm here, what am I called to now?"

God simply and sweetly responded, "My Heart."

"Hanna, I am forever and always calling you back to My Heart. Despite geographical location, age or circumstance, I am always calling you to My Heart and into Intimacy because that has always been your ultimate purpose and calling on your life."

His Heart is my home.

No matter where that is. No matter who that's with. God's heart is my home. It's where I can find comfort, it's where I can find love. It's where I can find acceptance and purpose.

...does it also happen to be a crazy coincidence that the big sign on top of one of YWAM Amsterdam's building is the Dutch phrase, "God roept u" or "God calls you"?

I love it here in Amsterdam. I am surrounded by so much love, acceptance and encouragement here. I've been apart of this community for hardly four weeks and I already feel like I've known them for years.

I know people genuinely care for my heart and my well-being. Even the people I minister to on the streets and behind the Red Light windows care for my heart, which is ironic because I thought I was just supposed to be giving to them all of the time...

When we give Him our all, or even when we don't, HE ALWAYS GIVES US HIS ALL.

He already did 2000 years ago.

What a sweet reminder as we're in a season of focusing on the gift of the cross but even more importantly the victory over the grave.

His Love gives us love, which we can give to others and receive back from Him and others.

It's a beautiful cycle and I'm amazed on how much I've experienced it here in Amsterdam on so many levels.

From hugs after spending an hour talking about family, love and God with a prostitute or even a coworker. My ideas of what internal and external ministry is being shaken from the roots.

I'm so thankful. I'm so thankful to be a Called One.

I'm so thankful for His gift of life. I'm so thankful for His gift of love that I can give to others and receive back in the most unexpected ways.

I'm thankful that even when things are hard--when encouragement seems scarce and provision almost obsolete--He is still good and is still calling me to His Heart.

Live Called today, friend.



"The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out...and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice...
I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd lays down his life for the sheep...
I am the Good Shepherd. I know my own and my own know me."

-John 10:3-4;11;14 (ESV, emphasis added)


Jesus, your calling voice inspires me to follow you. The one and only Good Shepherd who graces me with life and love. Thank you for always calling me back to you.

Love,
Hanna



Again, the above pictures are just quick shots from my Iphone. I promise I will put up some higher-quality DSLR ones soon ;)