Who are you?
What do people say about you? What do you say about yourself? What burdens your heart and what brings you joy?
Who am I?
Well, let me tell ya!
- I am Confident
- I am Strong
- I am Beautiful
- I am Loved
- I am Enough
- I love raw and large
- I crave authenticity
- I bring people together
- I hate conflict and crave resolution
- I love to empower others
- I am Inclusive
- I am an Encourager
- I am Loyal
- I am Fun
- I am a Leader
- I am Needed
- I am Wanted
- My words hold power and authority
- I am an Explorer
- I am a Musician/Painter/Cook/Writer
- I am Jesus' Best friend, his Bride, my Father's Daughter, and a Home for Holy Spirit.
Who have I thought I was?
(Crap. This means raw vulnerability. Okay. Let's do this....)
- unlovable
- too much/needy
- awkward
- too big
- timid
- weak
- fearful
- a bad leader
- a disappointment
- a failure
- a bad friend
- unwanted
- not needed
- burdensome
- forgotten
- not enough
- not talented
Writing that first list was like applying a balm over my raw heart. Those healing Truths seeped into the depths of my need for love...for Love Himself.
Writing that second list was like scratching off the scab of a seeping wound. Memories, conversations, sleepless nights and dark days replay in my mind as those minuscule but toxic words stare right back at me from my computer screen.
It's obvious, WORDS ARE POWERFUL.
I've been learning that more and more lately.
With the words, "it is finished," Jesus gave us freedom and belovedness.
With words the Trinity created all things.
They created that fly on your window, that bird and that tree; with words, They also created you and me (ha, that rhymed).
But in all seriousness, words are influential and are capable of holding life and death.
When God gave me the title for this blog, "Speak Life," I didn't realize then how that little phrase would continue to reverberate in my life.
During that time, God was showing me how things I say about people--whether in their presence or not (that's right, I have gossiped. Sorry.)-- actually changes who they are. He gave me a choice; I could speak life and see people walk in freedom in their true identity, or I could speak death and watch them crumble beneath my pride and desire to rise above them.
To say the least it was confronting, and ever since I have sought (and many times failed, but hey, I'm trying) to relentlessly encourage those placed around me and to really love those who aren't always the easiest to love.
It's not always easy, but it's been liberating in many ways and I have discovered a sweet fragrance of encouragement and love in my life that I have never known before.
However, in that time I didn't realize how much power I had given negative words in my own mind.
In these last couple of years, Jesus has been revealing to me words (the lies listed above, to name a few) I have been speaking over myself causing me to crumble in shame and defeat. I was faced with the question, "what TRUTH did I need to speak over myself to build myself up in confidence and identity in Jesus?"
What conversations and comments by people did I need to say NO to and choose forgiveness over bitterness?
What lies had I believed that needed to be covered time and time again in the Truth God has spoken over and into me as His Beloved?
Dear friend, do you relate to any of the words in those lists above? Have you ever heard the little lies of list #2 and let them beat you to the ground?
WORDS ARE POWERFUL.
And that statement is a two-sided coin.
Words hold the power to beat you down but they also hold the power to build you up.
They hold the power to bind every broken place and to make your scars beautiful and make them marks of victory, not defeat...kind of like the eternal scars of our Savior.
You know what's also great? It's one of my favorite things about Jesus...
THE WORDS HE GIVES YOU ABOUT YOURSELF ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN ANY LIE.
"So shall my Word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return empty,
but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.
For you shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and the hills before you shall break forth into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.
Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress; instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle;
and it shall make a name for the Lord, an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off."
-Isaiah 55:11-13, ESV (italics added)-
His Words stand.
No conversation, no broken relationship, no crushed dream, no lie you've heard or spoken over yourself for years changes the steadfastness of His Words of the TRUTH OF WHO HE SAYS YOU ARE.
And it's in the confidence of actually knowing (not just acknowledging) God's Truth and Words over you that you can experience freedom, victory and even genuine joy in the process.
I don't know about you, but hills and mountains bursting into song and clapping trees sounds pretty joyful to me. It kind of sounds like the Words of the Lord not only stand forever but bring tangible joy and peace; in addition they bring everlasting glory to God!
Do you understand that, Loved One?
The joy and freedom from your victory actually BRINGS GLORY TO GOD.
God deeply delights in you and your joy.
And that's the Truth, my friend.
That suffering relationship, sick loved one, empty bank account or sleeping dream are hard--yes so hard--but the TRUTH OF WHO HE IS AND WHO YOU ARE STANDS FOREVER, all those other things will fade away.
And it's because of that Truth we have eternal victory and have joy!
So I challenge you. Make some lists.
First make a list of lies. Don't capitalize them. In English, we capitalize important words or names. Those lies aren't you. Don't give them power they don't deserve.
Then make a second list, make a Truth list. Capitalize those words because they are important and they are your real names.
Then burn the lies list. Burn that baby to the ground. Put it in it's rightful place.
But keep the Truths list and put it somewhere visible and/or important, and repeat it to yourself over and over and over again. It takes time to renew your mind and to replace lies you've been speaking over yourself for years with the Truth of who God says you are. I'm still learning, and will continue to for the rest of my life.
It's a journey, and it's not for the faint of heart.
So it's a good thing that God hasn't given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of POWER, LOVE and a SOUND MIND (2 Timothy 1:7).
So, do you really know who you are?
You are Strong.
You are Made in His image.
You are Beloved.
You are Wanted and Needed.
You are Confident.
You are Beautiful.
You are HIS.
WORDS ARE POWERFUL.
So NEVER forget His words for you; never forget who you are.
My Sweet Jesus,
Your gentle whispers of Truth over me inspire me to bravely proclaim Your Truth over others.
Thank You for constantly holding my hand and for loving me even when I fight against You and want to give up. You strengthen me in weak places and give me real reasons to rejoice in this life.
I love You.
Your gentle whispers of Truth over me inspire me to bravely proclaim Your Truth over others.
Thank You for constantly holding my hand and for loving me even when I fight against You and want to give up. You strengthen me in weak places and give me real reasons to rejoice in this life.
I love You.
Love,
Hanna
These battles are real. They've been ones I've fought a lot in my time in Amsterdam and I'm still struggling. This post is not a finish line for me, but just another mile marker in the journey towards becoming more like my Jesus. Please, contact me if you need encouragement or reference to some helpful material to fight these things...I'd love to offer the little I can.
